5 Tips for Parenting Teens While Working at Home :: Christian Work ...

I have six kids that range from toddler triplets up to a twenty-year old in the Air Force. If you?re like me, you expected that reaching the teen years would be a little easier as a WAHM. You thought, rightfully, they?d understand work schedules and support your commitment to your work. You even had moments of longing for the day they?d understand that when you held up one finger on one hand and the phone to your ear with the other, it meant stop talking, crying, hitting your brother, or making any noise of any kind.

Yep. I used to have those thoughts, too.

What I didn?t consider as a parent of toddlers, was that as my children grew bigger, their problems would, too. It didn?t cross my mind during those early years that the flexibility I thought I was graciously doling out to my family was nothing compared to what I?d be called upon to do when my kids became teens. And, no one told me that teenagers don?t take a nap in the middle of the day or go to bed at 7pm.

As my kids dove headfirst into the years of sports teams, youth groups, extracurricular activities, and late nights followed by grumpy mornings, I got doused with a bucket of reality. Not only were things going to be no easier for me as a WAHM, but it would be even more difficult to balance the need to?s with the have to?s and the want to?s. So, because I like lists, I came us with five things to help me be an effective parent and work successfully from home.

1. Be Accessible

It?s good to be committed to your job and wonderful to be committed to your family. The key is to make sure that you know in your heart and mind that you ARE committed to those teenagers. They can?t slip through the cracks in these crucial years. Too many parents know in their heads what they need to do, but when it comes to the daily practice of living out the commitment on both sides, they fall short. Yes, it might seem unfair that if you were at work at an office somewhere, they couldn?t disturb you in the middle of the day and interrupt your tasks. But, fact is, you are at home, in the midst of their environment, accessible to them?which is probably one of the reasons you wanted to work from home in the first place.

Here are some tips to show your accessibility:

• When your teenager talks to you, close the laptop screen rather than talking over it while you keep typing.
• When your teen tiptoes through the room afraid of disturbing you, put your work aside and ask questions.
• Have a text code for actual or emotional emergencies. If they use it, you?ll stop everything to tune in.

2. Set Boundaries

This might seem to contradict number one, but really it?s the balance to the system. Accessibility tells your teens they?re important to you, but boundaries allow you get the job done. Everything in life has some sort of parameters or nothing would ever get done. Also, it?s important to teach your teens responsibility and how to honor commitment.

Here are some tips for setting good boundaries:

• Decide on them together. Get your teenagers? feedback and insight so they can take ownership.
• Be open to changing your rules if they aren?t working. Take stock of that regularly.
• Post your schedule and criteria for interruptions in a visible place so there?s no mistake.

3. Involve Your Teen.

Time to hire an assistant or want to farm out some of the work you just never seem to get to? Why not ask your teen to work with/for you? Not only will she feel valued, but it will be something that connects the two of you. She?ll get to earn some extra cash, you?ll have help with the packaging, shipping, labeling, etc?win win!

Here are some tips for involving your teen:

• Pay what you would an outside hire or it defeats the purpose and your teen feels used.
• Give regular feedback on a job well done.
• Set a schedule and hold her/him to it. Teach responsibility and commitment.

4. Elicit Ownership

Does your teenager really understand that you aren?t behind your computer screen so you can play on Facebook or blog for fun? Does she grasp that if you weren?t doing what you do in the house, you?d be working for a paycheck somewhere else and be even less accessible to her in that event? When they really take ownership in what you?re doing, the expectations fade along with any resentment.

Some tips for eliciting ownership:

• Make a list of all the ways your income helped the family in the past month. You don?t have to give dollar amounts.
• Set a future goal, like a vacation, and show how your work makes something like that possible.
• He ready for help buying a car? Perfect time to spell out just how many hours you need to work to make that possible.

5. Make it an Act of Worship.

Too many families separate work, home, and church into three separate entities. But a WAHM has the unique opportunity to blend them altogether and fully live out the Christian calling in front of your teens. They are watching. What a great opportunity to show work ethic, honest business practices, sacrifice in favor of honesty, etc.

Here are some tips for worshipping through work:

• Pray at the start of each work period, and let your teen see you do it. Also, ask the family for prayer over work needs.
• Play worship music as you go about your work day.
• Resist the tug of the little white lie. Be honest in all of your work practices.

In the end, you are truly privileged to be in a situation where you can work from home. If you handle it well, strive for balance, and put your teens first, it?ll be an awesome learning experience for all of you.

What tips or questions do you have about parenting teens while working from home?

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Nicole O?Dell, founder of Choose NOW Ministries and host of Choose NOW Radio: Parent Talk and Teen Talk, is a youth culture expert who writes and speaks to preteens, teenagers, and parents about how to prepare for life?s tough choices. She?s author of YA fiction, including the popular Scenarios for Girls interactive fiction series and the Diamond Estates Series (with the 4/1/12 release of The Embittered Ruby), and non-fiction for teens including Girl Talk, 2/1/12, which she wrote with her two daughters based on their popular advice column. Hot Buttons, O?Dell?s non-fiction series for parents (6/1/12, Kregel) helps pre-empt peer pressure by tackling tough issues. Visit www.nicoleodell.com for more info.

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